Category: Rememberance

A Birthday Tribute to Faith

I have always attributed our relationship being unique due to the fact that we got to grow together. I’ve always admired my mom and I look forward to sharing why I do. 

Terry’s Thoughts:

 Faith is Greater Than…

            Many people know parts of Faith’s story, but only those closest to her can tell from their perspective the things that she went through as a single mom, the challenges that she faced, the mistakes that she made and the redemption that she received because of her Faith.  Many times, when I am sharing her story to people, they say “Wow, she went through all of that?”  My reply is “That’s only what she’s told me.  I’m pretty sure that there’s way more to it than that.”  Faith is very humble and does not like to brag or boast on herself when she’s accomplished things that she’s set out in life to do, but that’s why I’m here.  Being a teenage mom at 15 years old, there were several things that ‘they’ said that she would not be able to accomplish.  ‘They’ said that she wouldn’t graduate from high school (wrong!)  ‘They’ said that she would never get her degree (she has 3 degrees: an Associates, Bachelors, and Masters).  ‘They’ said that she would never do the thing that she’s always wanted to do; become a college instructor (she begins teaching 2 classes this semester.)  ‘They’ said she wouldn’t find someone who would love her unconditionally with 3 children (now the count is 4 children and a husband of going on 6 years.)  ‘They’ said a lot of things that ended up not being true or accurate. 

            Although these things did not manifest themselves all at one time and at times it seemed as though many of the things that she accomplished would not come to pass, it was because of her faith in God that Faith became greater than any obstacle that she faced.  I’m taking this time to celebrate Faith on her birthday not just to show the world what you can do if you continue to put your trust and faith in God no matter how long the journey seems, rather to help someone out there recognize whatever you have dreamt, thought, imagined, hoped or prayed for regarding your life, if you listen how God is directing you, be patient, diligent and full of faith, you will achieve those things that He has promised.

            As I stated earlier, I can only talk about the things that she shared with me and those things that we have gone through together these past 6 years, but there is one who has been there since the beginning that can shed some light on what she has accomplished and how it has affected our family.  It is my honor and privilege to introduce our eldest, Davion Manuel-Mckenney.

Davion’s Thoughts:

I have always attributed our relationship being unique due to the fact that we got to grow together. I’ve always admired my mom and I look forward to sharing why I do.  Mom, you are a superhero to me.  Love you and I hope you are having an amazing Happy Birthday!

“Baby Raising a Baby”

            I realized you were a “gangsta” early in life.  You were so respected anywhere we went down in Hollywood.  You know that’s one thing I love about people from down south; you guys move with sense of presence and demand respect.  I always admired that about you being from Hollywood.  Anyway, we were young and yes, I can say “we” since you were only 15 and 16 when we lived there.  I can’t imagine myself having a child at 15.  Every time I think about it, I get chills.  This is when I realize you were “gangsta” and a little off (lol).  You decided to keep me and almost named me DavionDre.  (Thanks, Pops, for not letting her do that!) Davion is a good name.  I thank you Ma!  You not only decided to be a mom, but you did your very best.  At least that’s how I remember it. 

            I remember having to move a lot in those early days, but I never minded it because we were always together.  That’s all that mattered.  I have kids now and I honestly don’t know how you did it.  Three kids by the age of 21!  Single mom trying to figure out how to provide her kids with the best life possible.  The second most gangsa thing you did was decide we were going to move to Daytona.  You wanted to go to school and get a degree and down south is expensive.  Trust me I get it now, but at the time I didn’t.  I felt like you were ruing our lives.  “I’m never going to see my friends again!”  Hahaha you remember that?  To be honest it felt like not long after we were moving.  We packed up and we were gone. 

“Faith Move”

            Most of my memories from Daytona Beach are surrounded by faith, humility, and hard work. When we moved, we didn’t have an apartment and I’m pretty sure you had to still find work.  Still to this day, I think about that!  You were like ‘God revealed to me that there was a better life out there for us and you’, but He sent you to Daytona with no job and no place to stay. I’m sure to the normal person that sounds crazy, but you were obedient.  You were willing to drop everything, and trust God was going to provide for us.  I don’t know if you have ever thought about what that taught me.  When you are following God and seeking what He has for you; He will provide all your NEEDS.  I emphasize ‘need’ because there were always things that we wanted but we always had what we needed. 

            We did eventually get our own spot; we lived in “Soul City.”  During this time in our life, you put on a cape every day.  You would get up at 3:00AM to go to UPS to put food on the table.  You were working alongside men who didn’t respect you, called you names, and intentionally tried to make you either snap or quit.  I remember hearing some of the stories about how you were being treated at work and being so angry.  I wanted to go do something to them dudes!  You told me “They are fools and If I respond to them in the same way then I would be a fool.” That is a bar, Ma!  You always have gems to offer.  Do you remember this one?  “You are special, God made you special and He has a plan for your life.” As a grown man I still say this to myself whenever I have any doubt.  Anyway, I don’t know how you did it, but I never felt the weight that you had on your shoulders. 

At this point, I don’t know if I have really done what I was asked (Ha Ha).  I just started writing and all these memories of you flooded my mind.  As I continue to think about your story it only reminds me that you need to write a book.  More importantly, it is a testament to living in faith.  I’m so thankful to be a part of your story and that God chose you to be my Mom.  

So, to my superhero, I hope you have an amazing birthday.  I love you Ma! 

A Memorial to Dorothy W. Bryant…My Mom

I had just reached a point where I was no longer upset with the month of April as 35 years ago on April 15th, my father left this earth.  Now, 35 years and 8 days later, my mother joined him.  Wow…I didn’t see that coming nor expected it so soon.

Terry’s Thoughts (T2):

The past few weeks have been extremely difficult for me with the sudden passing of my mother…my mom, Dorothy W. Bryant.  The last words that I heard her say was “I Love You.” These are words that I will never hear again from her lips.  I had just reached a point where I was no longer upset with the month of April as 35 years ago on April 15th, my father left this earth.  Now, 35 years and 8 days later, my mother joined him.  Wow…I didn’t see that coming nor expected it so soon.

To know my mom was to know that she loved helping people and loved talking.  Boy, did she love talking.  When I would have to travel somewhere by vehicle by myself, I could always call her, and she would talk me either to the location or back (sometimes both) without me having to say too much.  She would ride virtual “shotgun” with me and keep me abreast of what was going on back home.  From graduations and weddings to funerals and births, mom would tell me what I needed to know to still feel a part of the community. I would appreciate this as this was her attempt to help me still feel that IF I wanted to come back, I could fit in as I never left.  From time to time, she would ask me if I was planning on coming back and my answer would always be the same: “I don’t know. If God leads me back here, I guess I will be back.”  I never thought that I would come back, but at the same time, I never ruled it out.  I just didn’t know.

One of the things that I enjoyed most about my mother is that as the oldest of all her siblings, she took it upon herself to make sure that the family always had a place to gather together during the holidays.  From Thanksgiving to Christmas, mom always wanted to have something at her house and didn’t want to be anywhere else.  She would start planning weeks before the holiday and tell me all the things that she was going to cook and bake for those that she either knew were going to come by or those that she thought might come by (and most of the time, she was right.)  Last year, I called her and told her that we were coming home for Thanksgiving and I would be doing all the cooking.  She could still bake (I had to let her do something or she wouldn’t agree to it), but I was cooking dinner.  While I was working in the kitchen, she sat back and laughed and talked and bragged about how I was cooking Thanksgiving dinner and wouldn’t let her cook and she was happy that I did it for her.  Although she tried to get family member to come visit with me, this trip was all about spending time with her.  After almost a decade of having to work during the holidays, I was finally able to spend it with her.

The loss of a parent is painful in its own right, but when one does not have any siblings to lean upon during these times, it can be extremely painful and sorrowful.  Yet, there is one thing that in spite of all our trials and tribulations, sorrows and triumphs, that I can say: my mother knew who her Lord and Savior was.  I can take comfort in my time of sorrow and pain to know that she is in the Father’s presence and singing with the choir invisible.  She is praising God in her glorified body with those of like precious faith.  Although I will miss my mom and wanted to spend more time with her on this side of the river Jordan, I cannot help but think that she is enjoying herself without the pain and cares that this world brings.  One day, I will see her again (hopefully not too soon) and we will have the ultimate family reunion.  But until that time comes, I am left with many memories to pass on to my family and to cherish in my heart.

Mom, you slipped out on me and a lot of other people.  You were ready to leave but didn’t give anyone enough time to try to talk you out of wanting to go.  You said “good bye” to those who heard it and said “I love you” to those who would feel the pain the most.  Your laugh and smile will always remain in my heart and my mind.  You will always be a part of me as I was a part of you.  Your memory will live on and your legacy will endure through those whom you touched throughout the years.

Loving you always.

Your son, Terry

 

Dorothy Bryant

Faith’s Thoughts:

Mother-in-law relationships are a tricky dynamic. The fact that I’ll be a mother-in-law in 2 months makes me more aware of what Terry’s mom, Ms. Dorothy must have been going through upon being introduced to me for the first time as the woman Terry wanted to marry. She was kind, but cautious and rightfully so. I didn’t want to force myself on her. I tried to let things develop organically. Ultimately, a mom wants a woman who loves and honors her son and I was sure that, over time, she’d see that. I assumed that we’d have (more) time.

This year in January, when Terry turned a year older, I felt a strong urge to write his mother a thank you note. I tried to talk myself out of it a few times, thinking I should wait until Mother’s Day to send her a note. I’m so glad I did finally send it off a few days after Terry’s birthday. I started off telling her how I’m sure it must be weird to be receiving a greeting from me when it was Terry’s birthday, not hers. I told her, that as a mom, I know how much work and dedication goes into raising a man/child. I thanked her for raising such a wonderful and gentle man. I told her how much I appreciate her persistence in making sure that his lessons in chivalry were embedded into his brain. In response, I received a card from her, thanking me for my letter. She expressed how much it moved her and how she read it several times and it comforted her.

I’m guessing Ms. Dorothy’s love language was words of affirmation. She always sent cards to people she loved for special occupations and she had a knack for picking out the perfect card. The last card we received from her was an Anniversary card in March. When we called to thank her, I commented on how perfect it was! She revealed that she had picked it out shortly after our wedding the year before. When I glance over at that card now, it means so much, yet it reminds me that I’ll never receive a card from her again.

On April 24th, when we finally came to terms with the fact that Ms. Dorothy had passed away suddenly, my first thought was “I’m so glad we got married when we did and she was able to see Terry happy.”  My second was, “I was so glad that I sent her the letter and expressed to her how much I value her only child.”  We packed quick and drove to South Carolina. As we walked in the house, I looked around and my brain flooded with thoughts. Ms. Dorothy was a great host. The beds to the guest rooms were made and the rooms were cleaned and decorated with her touch of love. She had all types of stationary and cards she kept on hand to send to people for special occasions. She was so thoughtful and it showed in every corner of her home. Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Ms. Dorothy made people feel loved, important, and comfortable and she has inspired me to do the same. I never told Terry about the letter I sent to his mom when I sent it. We didn’t talk about it until this week when he let me know that in going through his mom’s important documents, he found the letter I wrote to her.  Had I waited until Mother’s Day to honor her, it would have been too late. Tell those you love that you do. Do it often; say it in numerous ways. Make those around you feel important, comfortable, and loved.

Faith