Category: Holidays

A Birthday Tribute to Faith

I have always attributed our relationship being unique due to the fact that we got to grow together. I’ve always admired my mom and I look forward to sharing why I do. 

Terry’s Thoughts:

 Faith is Greater Than…

            Many people know parts of Faith’s story, but only those closest to her can tell from their perspective the things that she went through as a single mom, the challenges that she faced, the mistakes that she made and the redemption that she received because of her Faith.  Many times, when I am sharing her story to people, they say “Wow, she went through all of that?”  My reply is “That’s only what she’s told me.  I’m pretty sure that there’s way more to it than that.”  Faith is very humble and does not like to brag or boast on herself when she’s accomplished things that she’s set out in life to do, but that’s why I’m here.  Being a teenage mom at 15 years old, there were several things that ‘they’ said that she would not be able to accomplish.  ‘They’ said that she wouldn’t graduate from high school (wrong!)  ‘They’ said that she would never get her degree (she has 3 degrees: an Associates, Bachelors, and Masters).  ‘They’ said that she would never do the thing that she’s always wanted to do; become a college instructor (she begins teaching 2 classes this semester.)  ‘They’ said she wouldn’t find someone who would love her unconditionally with 3 children (now the count is 4 children and a husband of going on 6 years.)  ‘They’ said a lot of things that ended up not being true or accurate. 

            Although these things did not manifest themselves all at one time and at times it seemed as though many of the things that she accomplished would not come to pass, it was because of her faith in God that Faith became greater than any obstacle that she faced.  I’m taking this time to celebrate Faith on her birthday not just to show the world what you can do if you continue to put your trust and faith in God no matter how long the journey seems, rather to help someone out there recognize whatever you have dreamt, thought, imagined, hoped or prayed for regarding your life, if you listen how God is directing you, be patient, diligent and full of faith, you will achieve those things that He has promised.

            As I stated earlier, I can only talk about the things that she shared with me and those things that we have gone through together these past 6 years, but there is one who has been there since the beginning that can shed some light on what she has accomplished and how it has affected our family.  It is my honor and privilege to introduce our eldest, Davion Manuel-Mckenney.

Davion’s Thoughts:

I have always attributed our relationship being unique due to the fact that we got to grow together. I’ve always admired my mom and I look forward to sharing why I do.  Mom, you are a superhero to me.  Love you and I hope you are having an amazing Happy Birthday!

“Baby Raising a Baby”

            I realized you were a “gangsta” early in life.  You were so respected anywhere we went down in Hollywood.  You know that’s one thing I love about people from down south; you guys move with sense of presence and demand respect.  I always admired that about you being from Hollywood.  Anyway, we were young and yes, I can say “we” since you were only 15 and 16 when we lived there.  I can’t imagine myself having a child at 15.  Every time I think about it, I get chills.  This is when I realize you were “gangsta” and a little off (lol).  You decided to keep me and almost named me DavionDre.  (Thanks, Pops, for not letting her do that!) Davion is a good name.  I thank you Ma!  You not only decided to be a mom, but you did your very best.  At least that’s how I remember it. 

            I remember having to move a lot in those early days, but I never minded it because we were always together.  That’s all that mattered.  I have kids now and I honestly don’t know how you did it.  Three kids by the age of 21!  Single mom trying to figure out how to provide her kids with the best life possible.  The second most gangsa thing you did was decide we were going to move to Daytona.  You wanted to go to school and get a degree and down south is expensive.  Trust me I get it now, but at the time I didn’t.  I felt like you were ruing our lives.  “I’m never going to see my friends again!”  Hahaha you remember that?  To be honest it felt like not long after we were moving.  We packed up and we were gone. 

“Faith Move”

            Most of my memories from Daytona Beach are surrounded by faith, humility, and hard work. When we moved, we didn’t have an apartment and I’m pretty sure you had to still find work.  Still to this day, I think about that!  You were like ‘God revealed to me that there was a better life out there for us and you’, but He sent you to Daytona with no job and no place to stay. I’m sure to the normal person that sounds crazy, but you were obedient.  You were willing to drop everything, and trust God was going to provide for us.  I don’t know if you have ever thought about what that taught me.  When you are following God and seeking what He has for you; He will provide all your NEEDS.  I emphasize ‘need’ because there were always things that we wanted but we always had what we needed. 

            We did eventually get our own spot; we lived in “Soul City.”  During this time in our life, you put on a cape every day.  You would get up at 3:00AM to go to UPS to put food on the table.  You were working alongside men who didn’t respect you, called you names, and intentionally tried to make you either snap or quit.  I remember hearing some of the stories about how you were being treated at work and being so angry.  I wanted to go do something to them dudes!  You told me “They are fools and If I respond to them in the same way then I would be a fool.” That is a bar, Ma!  You always have gems to offer.  Do you remember this one?  “You are special, God made you special and He has a plan for your life.” As a grown man I still say this to myself whenever I have any doubt.  Anyway, I don’t know how you did it, but I never felt the weight that you had on your shoulders. 

At this point, I don’t know if I have really done what I was asked (Ha Ha).  I just started writing and all these memories of you flooded my mind.  As I continue to think about your story it only reminds me that you need to write a book.  More importantly, it is a testament to living in faith.  I’m so thankful to be a part of your story and that God chose you to be my Mom.  

So, to my superhero, I hope you have an amazing birthday.  I love you Ma! 

No Valentine’s Day? Yep, No Valentine’s Day

Anyone can get flowers, cards or candy for a few days when everyone is expecting it. But, if you get the flowers, cards, candy or make a meal that she loves without asking, it means exponentially more because it comes from the heart rather than from the world.

Valentine’s Day

Faith’s Thoughts:

Terry has been extremely romantic from the beginning of our relationship. I explained in a previous post that I had never been loved on in that way. I didn’t think I liked it. Before being a recipient, I thought flowers were a waste a money since they die. After a few bouquets, however, I loved them! I loved to have a bouquet at my desk at work which reminded me every time I saw them I was loved. When people would comment about them, it made me think of Terry who went out of his way to make me feel special. Once it got close to Valentine’s day, Terry explained to me that he doesn’t “celebrate” Valentines because he expresses his love every day. I wasn’t too disappointed though because I hadn’t celebrated that holiday since I was a kid in elementary school passing out valentines to my classmates. I didn’t hate it though like many single people. Valentine’s Day didn’t remind me more than any other day that I was single. Every morning that I woke up, got the kids up and ready for school (by myself), came home to cook dinner, help with homework, and do all the other tasks which were required of me. I was reminded of my singleness. Surely at the beginning of the month when it was up to me to pay all the bills, I was rudely reminded that I was (very) single. Sadly, I didn’t have an expectation of romance in a relationship. I hoped for partnership and the lack of partnership was the greatest reminder of my singleness, not the lack of romance. So, having Terry demonstrate partnership and romance was more than I could ever ask or think.

Terry isn’t a pessimistic person, but regarding Valentine’s Day, I’d describe his attitude as cynical. Terry explained that he didn’t participate in Valentine’s Day because he doesn’t need a date on a calendar to show love since he shows it all year. He also doesn’t appreciate how things are so overpriced for Valentine’s Day and restaurants are crowded. Some people would say “Would you rather celebrate love one day of the year or every other day?” I think that’s a copout. I don’t understand why the choice has a be so drastic. Some men (especially my husband) LOVE the game of football. He’s a fan from the NFL draft to training camp, preseason football, regular season games, the playoffs, and then there’s the Super Bowl. We don’t have to choose between the regular season and the Super Bowl. We watch them both and during the Super Bowl, we celebrate! We go all out like we haven’t been watching for months. Personally, I think those who are romantic should be looking forward to Valentine’s Day all year. Not because it’s the only day to celebrate, but because they get to really go all out.

I’m new to romance and relationships. I like it more than I thought I would. I look forward to Terry’s sweet gestures, so I don’t want any day to be off limits. Ultimately though, my “love tank” is full. He keeps it full, but I’m not opposed to having the tank topped off. If I must choose between being showered with love 1 day or 364 days, certainly, I’d choose 364 days. But, just as there shouldn’t be a day to dictate when we celebrate love, there shouldn’t be a day when we withhold it either. I don’t need a card, not even flowers, Lord knows I have no desire to wait in line a fancy restraint, but I think Valentine’s Day could be made special without giving into the commercialization of it all.

– Faith

No Valentine’s Day? Yep, No Valentine’s Day

Terry’s Thoughts (T2):

I remember the first time that I told Faith that I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. The look on her face was a combination of shock, disbelief and wonder. She said “Okay…”, but the tone in her voice was like “What do you mean ‘You don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day?’” All the things that I had done for her in the months leading up to Valentine’s Day had her overwhelmed with tokens of love and lots and lots of flowers. Of all the days to give flowers, why not give them on Valentine’s Day? The explanation was simple and yet profound: why wait until two or three days (four if you are married) a year to show someone how much you love them?

One of the things that I learned early on in life was that time is short and fleeting and no one knows when it is time to meet the Master. The event that made me take this stand was the death of my father. He was scheduled to come home from the hospital on a Sunday and had a massive heart attack on the Friday before his discharge date. I was so looking forward to spending time with him again as unlike now where children have more liberty to visit their parents in the hospital, at that time, it was very restrictive in both times of day and the amount of time that could be spent. There were so many things that I wanted to say to him and ask him about when he got home, and I never got the opportunity to say them. I never got the opportunity to tell him that I missed him and loved him. In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, he was gone. I vowed I would never have that feeling of not letting someone I loved to know how much I loved them and would not wait until a few days of the year to express it.

To this end, I explained to Faith that I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. I celebrate my love for her each and every day. Why wait when I can show her that I care for her, I adore her and I love her for who she is? Anyone can get flowers, cards or candy for a few days when everyone is expecting it. But, if you get the flowers, cards, candy or make a meal that she loves without asking, it means exponentially more because it comes from the heart rather than from the world. To have the love of your life look with amazement and adoration (as well as her co-workers) when something shows up when she least expects it is priceless. I enjoy letting people know that I love my wife, but I love even more when I do something that shows the world that she is my queen and she shows it in her smile.

One of the things that I enjoy is her smile. I don’t smile a lot, but Faith smiles enough for the two of us. I don’t ever want that smile to go away, so I do what I need to do to make sure that it remains on her face. From little things such as picking up a new lunch bag so that she can stay on track with her program to making sure there is gas in the tank when she runs it down, these are just some things that I do to make sure that she keeps a smile on her face. As the Rude Boys sang “It’s written all over your face, you don’t have to say a word” I want that smile to always say “Terry loves me.” Thus, this is the reason I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. Every day is Valentine’s Day for the one that I love.

– Terry

Post script: So, many have asked “Did you do anything special for Valentine’s Day this year?” Well, the answer is yes and no. Let me explain: the plan (as always) is to do what I am going to do before the day arrives. Well, thanks to delays in delivery, what I ordered didn’t arrive until Valentine’s Day. So, in essence I didn’t and I did do something special for Valentine’s Day. But for me, every day is a day to celebrate my love for my queen.

-Terry